Heart On Fire Read online

  "I will never be happier than I am today," he had murmured to her. "I'll hold the picture of you walking down the aisle towards me in my heart until the day I die," he promised.

  "I still can't believe I tripped," Erin had laughed up at him, and that had been the moment the photographer captured.

  There was no way either of them could know that their marriage would last less than a year.

  Erin poured the mixture she had been stirring into a greased pan and slid it into the oven. Once she was done, she reached for the windowsill over the sink where two plain gold wedding bands threaded on a long gold chain rested. She lifted it over her head and tucked it into her shirt before moving quietly back to the bathroom and starting the shower to allow the hot water to kick in.

  Returning to the bedroom and sitting on the edge of the bed, Erin leaned over and pressed a light kiss to Cameron's cheek. His eyes immediately flew open, and when he saw her, they crinkled handsomely at the corners in a smile.

  "That was definitely the most satisfying lunch I've ever had," he told her, then jerked upright. "What time is it?"

  "Almost a quarter past," Erin told him, getting to her feet as Cam grimaced and removed the condom, before climbing off the bed himself. "The shower should be hot by now, and there are towels in the closet," she told him. "If you're quick, you should be able to make it back to work in time."

  Cam tossed the condom into the bin in the bathroom, before pulling Erin close against him. "Join me?" he asked.

  "Absolutely not," she told him sternly. "I've already been responsible for the fact that you didn't get to eat on your lunch break, I won't be responsible for you being late back. Go," she told him, pushing him gently towards the shower.

  "Okay, but don't think I wouldn't be dragging you in here with me if I weren't going to get my butt kicked for being late." Cam got into the shower and Erin smiled as she returned to the kitchen.

  Fetching more ingredients from the fridge, she began chopping onions, garlic and fresh herbs, tossing them in with some ground beef and adding other seasonings. She lost herself in the familiar rhythms of cooking, but washed off her hands and came around the island counter to Cam when he exited the bathroom, a towel slung low around his hips.

  The gentle ache at Erin's core became an insistent throb as she allowed herself a moment to really look Cam over. He had the tan of a man who spent a lot of time outdoors, and the way his muscles were defined spoke of a life of physical activity, not just hours at the gym. The smattering of dark blond hair on his chest made Erin's nipples tingle at the memory of how they had felt pressed against him as they had made love.

  Mentally shaking herself from her reverie, Erin cocked an eyebrow at Cam as he grinned and ran a hand through his hair, fully aware of her scrutiny. He allowed his own eyes to flick down her body and back up again before very ostentatiously dropping his towel and reaching for his clothes.

  Erin waited as he pulled his jeans back on before moving close to him and wrapping her arms around him. "I'm sorry you missed lunch," she told him, pressing feather-light kisses to his collarbones. "I'll bring you something to eat in about an hour, if you like?"

  "You don't have to do that," Cam told her, his hands skating restlessly up and down her back as goosebumps rose on his skin.

  "It's already cooking," Erin told him, desire shooting through her at the scent of her own soap on his skin, like she was claiming him. What she wouldn't give to drag him back into her bed right now!

  "I want to see you again," Cam told her. "I'll finish at seven tonight, if you're free? I'll take you to dinner."

  Erin went up on tiptoes so her lips were just brushing his, and looked straight up into his light eyes. "Or you could just come here, I'll make dinner, and we can go straight back to bed." Then she kissed him, feeling his groan rumble through her as he caught her up and returned her kiss with the same desire she was feeling in spades.

  Their tongues slid sensuously together and Cam's hands came down to grab her ass and pull her hips close against his where she could feel the proof of his want.

  "You're killing me," he murmured, pulling away and looking slightly stunned.

  "But what a way to go," Erin agreed, reluctantly stepping back from him and handing him his shirt. "Write me directions to your work and I'll come by in a little while with lunch."

  "Directions?" Cam asked, pulling his shirt and sweater on.

  "I've only been here for a couple of months," Erin told him, passing him his socks and pushing his shoes over with her foot. "I'm still learning where everything is."

  Nodding, Cam grabbed a notepad and pen off the bench. "I'll leave directions, my work number, and my mobile number as well," he told her. He glanced at the clock on the microwave and frowned. "I really have to go," he told her grudgingly.

  Erin allowed him to take her hand and draw her body against his as he kissed her once more, his mouth searing the taste of him against hers as his hands gently cradled her face. There was more than just want in that kiss, and the emotional force behind it left Erin breathless.

  "I can't wait to see you again," he told her, pressing a cheeky kiss to her nose before giving her a quick wink and disappearing out her door.

  Erin pressed a hand to her chest where her heart was thumping wildly. Just what was she getting herself into?

  *

  "Sorry, I know I'm late," Cameron called, walking into the firehouse’s engine bay and hanging up his coat.

  "How's Erin?" Rufus, the station chief, asked, lying on the creeper under the #2 engine with just his legs sticking out.

  Cam pulled up short. "How did you...? Maggie," he concluded, rolling his eyes. "I swear, I don't know who's the biggest gossip out of the two of you."

  Rufus chuckled. "Pass me the oil pan, boy," he said, his hand waving impatiently from beneath the large machine.

  Handing it over, Cam leaned against the wall and folded his arms. "You know her?"

  "Erin?" Rufus asked. "Sure. She's always at the bakery. She did O'Malley's wedding cake. Damn good it was, too. And sometimes she comes down with baked goods for us, or cooks meals for us."

  "What's she like?"

  Pushing himself out from under the fire truck, Rufus eyed Cameron. "Well son, if you don't know after having had ‘lunch’ with the girl, I don't know what I can tell you."

  Cam laughed and reached down to help the older man to his feet. He knew some things about Erin, of course. Like what her skin looked like, flushed with arousal, what her sighs sounded like when she was close to orgasm, and what she tasted like, lingering on his tongue. But they hadn't done much conversing, as such, and he was curious.

  "I was just wondering what you knew about her," he clarified. "Seeing as how I'm sure Maggie gave you all the information."

  "Not much, really," Rufus said, wiping his hands on a grease rag and rummaging in a toolbox. "She moved here from California-way, she's a qualified pastry chef but does custom cakes for Maggie, keeps to herself, mostly." He found the socket wrench he was looking for and turned to Cameron. "And she was married. Don't know why she isn't still, but Maggie reckons it did a number on her." Rufus sat back down on the creeper, but paused before giving Cam a stern look. "She's a real nice girl, Cam. She's hurting over something, so you be good to her."

  Ignoring the way his chest tightened at his boss' words, Cameron nodded. "I will," he promised.

  As Rufus scooted back under the big vehicle, Cam made his way through to the training room. He sat at a computer and logged on to access his theoretical paediatric and obstetrics procedural review, but leaned back in his seat before beginning reading.

  So. Erin had been married. If it had ended badly, that could explain her reticence to get involved with him, absolutely. Cameron wasn't sure if he was up to handling that kind of emotional devastation, not that Erin had given him any indication that she needed him to. But in his experience, sooner or later, a woman's emotional needs became a man's responsibility.

  It had been a while
since he had last spent any significant time with a woman, and even longer since his last serious relationship. Coming back to Juneau had been Cam's way of trying to decide what he wanted for the rest of his life. At 32 he certainly wasn't old, but he couldn't keep up the pace of his current occupational extremes forever. Living in a tent for weeks at a time wasn't as fun now as it had been when he'd first qualified as a Hotshot.

  Fire fighting was what Cam loved, and all he'd ever wanted to do. He was proud to be a third generation fighter, and had believed his father when he'd said that the Thomases had fire in their veins. He'd applied to an interagency hotshot crew in his early twenties and made it in first try, and had been fighting fires, working on hazard fuel reduction, building construction and maintenance, and trail construction and rehabilitation ever since. He'd even spent a few seasons as a smokejumper, battling some of the biggest fires the country had ever seen.

  He was ready to slow down a bit, and had asked Rufus, the chief of the Juneau station, if there would be a position available for him should he want to settle and add a degree of permanency to his life. Cam had been spending the off-season there since he'd become a fighter, and Rufus was ready to welcome him with open arms.

  Cameron's mother and sisters were going to be thrilled that he was settling down. If he decided for sure that's what he was going to do. And the idea was becoming more appealing by the minute, given the explosive chemistry he and Erin had generated. A home and family could be great; sharing both of those things with someone he had fantastic chemistry with? There really wasn't much to think about.

  Clasping his hands behind his head, Cameron stared up at the ceiling. Chemistry didn't even begin to cover what they had. It was the most intense connection he'd ever experienced, and he was very excited to see where it would lead. Cam was a man who had never been afraid to go after what he wanted; he had an intense focus and drive that had always served him well, both professionally and personally.

  Desire pooled in his belly as he recalled the hour spent with Erin. Her body confidence and her willingness to ask for what she wanted were a heady combination, and traits he found very sexy in a woman. Not only that, but she was funny, and sharp, and utterly gorgeous. He could still feel the weight of her breasts in his hands, like sense memory, and the way her slick heat clenched around him.

  Cursing under his breath, Cam sat up in his chair and scrubbed a hand over his face. She was incredibly distracting, and he really needed to focus. Lives literally depended on it.

  Four

  The icy wind whipped Erin’s hair around her face as she strode down the street with an insulated bag over one arm and a backpack over the other. As she made her way to Cam’s workplace, she questioned the fact that she was bringing her one night stand- or should that be ‘one lunchtime stand’?- his lunch. It seemed to be a girlfriend kind of thing to do, and she was absolutely not his, or anyone’s, girlfriend. And despite the intensity of their lovemaking, and the way she had felt her body come alive under his hands, Erin did not consider herself ready to be getting into a relationship with anyone.

  It had been four years since Daniel had died, and sometimes the realisation that he really was gone was still like a punch to the chest. She still loved him so much, that even if she was ready for another relationship, she didn’t feel she could commit fully, and that wouldn’t be fair.

  Slipping the directions out of her pocket, Erin realised simultaneously that the address seemed familiar, and that she was headed downtown towards the medical clinic. From her very loose understanding of where things were in the town, she was fairly sure the Rescue volunteers met on the other side of town. She glanced up at the street sign and followed the route written out for her, finally turning onto Glacier Avenue.

  Erin’s stomach started turning uneasily. She noted the street number and hurried along, eager to get out of the wind but increasingly worried as to where exactly she was going to end up. She had a sneaking suspicion, but was hoping desperately she was wrong.

  As she stood in front of the long red brick and white building that made up the fire station, she felt nauseous. She saw shadowed figures moving in the engine bay, and seriously considered turning and running straight back home. How could she have gotten into this situation again?

  *

  As Erin let herself back inside from hanging the washing on the line, she heard the phone ring. Leaving the basket on top of the washing machine, she headed into the kitchen and picked up the phone, noting her best friend’s number on the Caller ID. As she did, a knock came at the door.

  “Sorry, Maria,” she laughed in greeting as she answered the phone. “Can you hold on a moment? Someone’s just knocked on the door, if you can believe it.”

  It was only as she crossed the kitchen and into the hall that she heard Maria’s sobs.

  “Mari?” Erin asked, instantly concerned. Maria’s husband, Raoul, was on Daniel’s fire crew. Had something happened to him? “Mari,” she said, louder this time as her friend’s crying intensified. “Maria, has something happened to Raoul?”

  Her heart began to pound and dread began to fill her, rushing through her veins and she knew. Even before she looked to her front door and saw Daniel’s Chief standing there, staring back at her with his hat clenched in his hands and sorrow on his face, she knew.

  “Daniel,” she whispered, feeling her heart shatter.

  *

  She had just made up her mind to turn tail and run when she heard Cameron call her name. She stood, frozen, staring at the engine bay from the street as he strode out to meet her.

  “Hey,” he grinned as he walked out to her. “You made it.” Then, as he came closer, his open and pleased expression changed to one of concern. “Hey,” he asked, his tone worried as he took her arm and peered into her face. “Are you okay?”

  Erin swallowed around the painful lump in her throat, her eyes burning and her stomach rebelling. “You said you worked with the Mountain Rescue,” she muttered, her mind reeling.

  “I do,” Cam told her, his expression still concerned. “I mean, I volunteer with them in the off-season, usually from November until sometime in the new year. I technically work for the Alaska Fire Service as a Hotshot module leader. That means-“

  “I know what that means,” Erin said, her tone distraught. “You’re a god damned firefighter.”

  “I… uh, yes, I guess I am,” Cameron frowned. “Is that bad? Did I do something wrong?”

  “No,” Erin laughed bitterly. “Not at all. I, on the other hand, am the unluckiest person you’ll ever meet.” Biting off her words, her mind racing, she took a deep breath and tried to remember why she had even come. “I brought you lunch,” she told him abruptly, thrusting the insulated bag at Cameron and stalking off into the station.

  Startled at her abrupt and speedy departure, Cam had to jog to catch up as she made her way unerringly to the kitchen, dumping the backpack on the small table and angrily unloading its contents.

  Her mind was whirling. How could she be so unlucky? The one rule she had given herself for when she was ready to date again was that she would not, under any circumstance, date a first responder. She had experienced the agony of loss firsthand thanks to her husband having died fighting a house fire, and was not going to put herself through that again.

  What had she done in a previous life to warrant this? The first man in four years to inspire instantaneous and overwhelming sexual attraction within her was a firefighter. It was so cruelly ironic that Erin didn’t know whether to cry, scream, or both.

  So overwhelmed that she couldn’t trust herself to speak, Erin studiously ignored Cameron’s worried and searching gaze and continued unpacking the bag, covering the table top with containers filled with cheese slices, lettuce, tomato, sauces, fresh bread rolls and freshly baked brownies. She took the insulated bag from Cameron’s hand, still ignoring his confusion and unpacked it as well, filling the kitchen with the mouth-watering scent of garlic and herbed mince patties, caramelised onio
ns, fried egg and bacon.

  Damn. Even as confused as she was, Erin was acutely aware of Cam’s presence. The scent of him, crisp pine and fresh snow; his physical presence, his height and musculature. And, heaven help her, the sexual pull he had over her. Because despite her turmoil, the roiling confusion of her thoughts, she could feel her body responding to him, feel her arousal spike.

  “Plates and cutlery, please,” she requested, her voice husky with suppressed emotion. She took her seat as Cameron wordlessly complied and began opening containers, gesturing to Cam to help himself. “There’s plenty here,” she told him, “for the rest of your team, if they’re hungry.”